How will our children recall their childhood summers? Will they remember carefree days spent with friends biking around town, choreographing backyard dance extravaganzas, or mastering kick-flips at the local skate park? Or will they spend hour after hour plugged in and logged on, with summer whizzing by them in an air conditioned blur?

While we want our kids to enjoy their cell phones, Internet connections, iPods and video games, we also want them to see the light of day. So, where should parents draw the line? Let’s begin by putting technology in its place—it’s a toy. Cell phones may be a great way for our children to communicate and the Internet may be a fantastic help with school assignments, but for all intents and purposes, children use technology as a toy, especially during the summer months. Toys are fun, but, like so many other forms of fun, it’s up to parents to set healthy limits for their children. Here are some ways to lay down good ground rules:

Create a Contract for Success
You sign a contract when you buy a cell phone. Why not have kids sign a contract before they can use cell phones or access the Internet, etc.? Creating a contract with your child helps clearly define your limits. State the parameters for acceptable uses and cyber etiquette, and make sure kids know in advance what the consequences will be for overuse or misuse of technology.

Communicate
Use the extra free time that summer affords you to connect with your child and learn his or her computer habits. Ask for a tour of your child’s favorite Web sites, games, blogs and chat rooms. Be aware of where your child hangs out in cyberspace. Place the onus on your child to build a trusting relationship with you by showing you his or her recent Internet activity. Seize opportunities this summer to talk with your child about socially acceptable behavior and morally appropriate conduct. Use this as a catalyst to develop your family’s technology policy. The goal of this policy ought to be to keep technology as a fun, safe toy for your child.

Ditch the Techno-Binky
When parents use technology like a pacifier for older kids, then we have crossed a dangerous line. For example, when we take a summer road trip and play a DVD to occupy the kids or let our teens disappear into their iPods, we may be robbing them of social skills, not to mention downtime for daydreaming and creativity or the chance to share their thoughts and feelings with the family.

Sibling bickering in the back of the car serves a social purpose. It teaches our children how to take turns and communicate, and it creates a sense of family. These socialization skills, which also shape kids' character and help them build confidence, are being gradually eroded away, not just in our cars but in our living rooms and elsewhere. As children plug in and log on, the eye contact, body language and communication style of an entire generation is changing.

Teach By Example
Your children look to you to set limits and model appropriate behaviors. Set the tone by not answering your cell phone in restaurants, stores or in the car when your children are with you. You can also teach your children how to make a plan and a backup plan, as if they were living in the pre-cell phone era, so they can develop and rehearse skills for planning, organization and problem-solving. They’ll need those same skills when they're back in the classroom.

The Bottom Line
When our children’s reliance on cell phones, their need to play video games and their dependency on the Internet interferes with, or shapes, their daily routine, then it is time to re-evaluate. Likewise, if your child’s technological activities start to interfere with other peoples’ well being (like texting friends during a movie or talking on the cell phone while at dinner), then you know it is time to redraw the limits you have placed on their tech time.

Dr. Claire Rubman holds PhD and M.A. degrees in cognitive, developmental psychology. Dr Rubman is also an Associate Professor at Suffolk County Community College. www.clairerubman.com